it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
