DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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