He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
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The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
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I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
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