We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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