It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I'm determined to sit on that face.
You ruined the universe
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Randomize
