my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
