Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
