i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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