I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
