and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
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Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
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