My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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