I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
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i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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