Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
My dick has a subreddit
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
