at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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