I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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