mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
