I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
