I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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