We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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