She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
