it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
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