Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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