I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I am available for nakedness
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
