girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
