I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
