Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize