I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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