Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
