i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
