dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
