no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
