So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize
