I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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