Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
There r osticjed everywhere
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
