i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize