Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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