His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize