My friends, they love my intelligence
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
