I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Randomize
