My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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