In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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