So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
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