But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
