He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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