Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
