whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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