Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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