I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
