On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
