So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
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I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
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Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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