dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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