he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
