So drunk its hurt
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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