Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(702): View more from Nevada

I love you!

(323): View more from California

You're insane

(702): View more from Nevada

Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!

(702): View more from Nevada

Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha

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(702): I love you! (323): You're insane (702): Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u! (702): Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha http://tfl.nu/wtaa

Replies (8) Good night (1118) Bad night (1564)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.

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(412): I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on. http://tfl.nu/5fm3

Replies (30) Good night (10336) Bad night (1663)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"

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(781): then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints" http://tfl.nu/ml68

Replies (12) Good night (6379) Bad night (936)
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(503): View more from Oregon

One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.

(503): View more from Oregon

By 8 I mean 9.

(503): View more from Oregon

And by 9 I mean 10.

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(503): One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party. (503): By 8 I mean 9. (503): And by 9 I mean 10. http://tfl.nu/vux8

Replies (62) Good night (3258) Bad night (4997)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat

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(402): I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat http://tfl.nu/ufc8

Replies (24) Good night (2361) Bad night (3321)
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(210): View more from Texas

no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.

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(210): no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here. http://tfl.nu/1kwe

Replies (8) Good night (1358) Bad night (3663)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"

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(860): We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no" http://tfl.nu/13gy

Replies (7) Good night (2382) Bad night (933)
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(225): View more from Louisiana

Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...

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(225): Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM... http://tfl.nu/su1z

Replies (5) Good night (2120) Bad night (676)
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(614): View more from Ohio

Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left

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(614): Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left http://tfl.nu/4sdk

Replies (5) Good night (697) Bad night (2301)
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(408): View more from California

tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????

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(408): tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ???? http://tfl.nu/bwh4

Replies (2) Good night (1568) Bad night (549)
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(281): View more from Texas

You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am

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(281): You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am http://tfl.nu/8gbq

Replies (2) Good night (873) Bad night (864)
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(716): View more from New York

That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information

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(716): That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information http://tfl.nu/q7xv

Replies (3) Good night (934) Bad night (317)
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(320): View more from Minnesota

My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.

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(320): My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with. http://tfl.nu/8o04

Replies (0) Good night (609) Bad night (444)
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(208): View more from Idaho

Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.

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(208): Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache. http://tfl.nu/ndot

Replies (1) Good night (296) Bad night (408)
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(360): View more from Washington

Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.

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(360): Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex. http://tfl.nu/1puf

Replies (1) Good night (595) Bad night (208)

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