Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (949): I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me. http://tfl.nu/kgtm
  Replies (19) Good night (722) Bad night (2328)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control. http://tfl.nu/45m8
  Replies (47) Good night (1444) Bad night (4031)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit." http://tfl.nu/sc5b
  Replies (15) Good night (947) Bad night (7087)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.

  (1-647): View more from Ontario

  Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (647): 47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over. (1-647): Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead? http://tfl.nu/n8gs
  Replies (57) Good night (1266) Bad night (5757)
• Favorite

  (469): View more from Texas

  It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (469): It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays. http://tfl.nu/21z4
  Replies (13) Good night (4485) Bad night (1334)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this http://tfl.nu/u2zv
  Replies (20) Good night (1217) Bad night (6226)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke. http://tfl.nu/as75
  Replies (8) Good night (1165) Bad night (4606)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (954): I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today? http://tfl.nu/ptoy
  Replies (39) Good night (6050) Bad night (1241)
• Favorite

  (+49): View more from Germany

  The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+49): The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed? http://tfl.nu/pvwt
  Replies (8) Good night (4057) Bad night (1453)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (801): i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick? http://tfl.nu/a1dv
  Replies (22) Good night (3283) Bad night (1515)
• Favorite

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (902): The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes. http://tfl.nu/ae5m
  Replies (3) Good night (2177) Bad night (860)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner. http://tfl.nu/1e2r
  Replies (2) Good night (1929) Bad night (739)
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Ontario

  i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (905): i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head... http://tfl.nu/72nr
  Replies (1) Good night (673) Bad night (348)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (607): Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on. http://tfl.nu/m1je
  Replies (2) Good night (572) Bad night (286)
• Favorite

  (915): View more from Texas

  Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (915): Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance. http://tfl.nu/naye
  Replies (0) Good night (367) Bad night (148)

Randomize