so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
