Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
