Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.