They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
