Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.

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  (214): Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake. http://tfl.nu/8hx0
  Replies (17) Good night (1159) Bad night (3839)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself

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  (517): If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself http://tfl.nu/s6n2
  Replies (11) Good night (603) Bad night (3604)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.

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  (402): Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard. http://tfl.nu/co7z
  Replies (31) Good night (6909) Bad night (983)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw

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  (614): There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw http://tfl.nu/mvua
  Replies (45) Good night (7453) Bad night (764)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.

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  (410): I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time. http://tfl.nu/uvgg
  Replies (14) Good night (5386) Bad night (1005)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.

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  (713): Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success. http://tfl.nu/wlhs
  Replies (9) Good night (5391) Bad night (851)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.

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  (215): I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did. http://tfl.nu/l0um
  Replies (22) Good night (3735) Bad night (937)
• Favorite

  (260): View more from Indiana

  I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.

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  (260): I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck. http://tfl.nu/i41h
  Replies (28) Good night (3789) Bad night (5639)
• Favorite

  (712): View more from Iowa

  They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.

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  (712): They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some. http://tfl.nu/oeo3
  Replies (6) Good night (2722) Bad night (1476)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!

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  (440): WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?! http://tfl.nu/lphy
  Replies (17) Good night (2638) Bad night (1352)
• Favorite

  (909): View more from California

  Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.

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  (909): Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know. http://tfl.nu/19n8
  Replies (20) Good night (953) Bad night (1465)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight

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  (253): We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight http://tfl.nu/nnba
  Replies (18) Good night (1776) Bad night (569)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.

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  (248): Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience. http://tfl.nu/5ghs
  Replies (1) Good night (935) Bad night (449)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?

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  (954): I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested? http://tfl.nu/lmn2
  Replies (9) Good night (461) Bad night (1509)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.

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  (646): His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex. http://tfl.nu/fp57
  Replies (2) Good night (256) Bad night (515)

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