I just pynch a tree in the face
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
