You smell like a Billy Joel song
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
