I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?