I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
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I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
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I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.