who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
