I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I will die if light touches me.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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