I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
